Temporal Paradox; A Parody

Time, not a constant but an illusion it is relative and varies for different observers depending on their speed through space. It moves differently for Superman and for Great A’Tuin the gigantic sea turtle supporting the Discworld!

Somebody asked if the time machine in the famous movie series “Back to the Future” is kind of bullshit and the short answer is: Yes! The long answer is: Shit yee!

Let’s take the grandfather paradox, imagine arriving at your grandparents’ bedroom the exact moment when they were conceiving your father. What do you do? Puke and return!

There are other time travel paradoxes:

Fermi paradox states that if time travel is possible, where the farck are all the dudes from the future? Some of them are probably very well disguised, other not so much like Dennis Rodman, Ru Paul, or Arnold!

Newcomb’s paradox or explain that if you have free will and make decisions, those decisions will be known in the future and you do not have time travel, you just have free Willy!

A causal loop, called sometimes a boot-strap paradox happens when a future incident is the cause of a past incident, which in turn is the cause of the future incident. It is like you cannot sleep because you had too much coffee, not enough sleep so you cannot wake up, and finally, you need coffee to wake up! Capisi?

A wormhole or an Einstein-Rosen bridge is a fictitious structure able to link separate point in spacetime, like a tunnel, maybe a wormhole is a projection of a fourth spatial dimension. In order to better understand the wormholes, NASA should make a joint venture with KFC, it is known that chickens have a serious experience with wormholes!

In the vastness of the Universe, there are certain particles who can communicate instantaneously with each other faster than the speed of light, as the Spooky Quantum Entanglement Theory explains. These entangled particles are redefining the meaning of time and time travel because if the communication is instantaneously happening, time does not exist. Imagine that we will be able to get people entangled and instead of getting married you will get entangled. If you go for a drink with friends, she will be there too. If you … better not because she will be there was well!

And, by the way, I invented time travel, it is called SLEEP!