Conspiracy Theory Chronicles
Chapter 13
Bill and Jill decided to move north of Britney in a coastal area surrounded by national parks full of evergreen blue gums aka Eucalyptus globulus.
They were going almost daily on long walks through the forest enjoying the tranquillity, the trees, the flowers, and occasionally some fauna: roos, wild turkeys (the bird not the bourbon!), and cockatoos.
In one of those trips, Bill had a distinct feeling that they were being watched but there was nobody there but them and the trees, so Bill started to formulate another conspiracy theory:
All the trees, plants, and the rest of the flora including bacteria (now known as prokaryotes) and fungi are interconnected via a neural network through their roots and enzymes.
They are organized in a very structured and complex “society” with the lower ranks being the grass and grass-like plants and the upper ranks being the most evolved trees which are sentient and can communicate telepathically between them all over the planet.
Deep in the South Bamerican jungle, near a little spring which will become the mighty Bamazon there was the Supreme Commander of the Tree-Ents. The tree was two million years old and has different names for different Burthian people: Yggdrasil, Gaokerena, Bodhi but on the whole planet was known as The Tree of Life and was the same as The Tree Of Knowledge connecting all forms of creation and heaven and the underworld.
For the last hundreds of years, the Burthians were killing the trees via massive industrial deforestation until The Tree of Life realized that their existence is at stake and they can be wiped out by the Burthians in no time.
Unknown to anybody else the viruses on planet Burth were controlled by the upper echelon of the trees so was only logical for them to use the viruses against the attack of the Burthians.
Guvid-19Bis was released in a forest near Yuhan in Fackina and soon the bats and pangolins got invented. Next step, the Burthians got infected, and the pandemic happened. Millions of Burthians died and there were talks about a global extinction event.
The Tree of Life is very old and very wise (it is not always the case!) decided that the Burthians were punished enough and got the message about not hurting the forests anymore and in his magnanimity, Yggdrasil decided to release the anti-virus which is better known as a vaccine. Do not believe for a second that the vaccine was created by the Burthians, like Guvid-19Bis, the vaccine is a 100% creation of the trees!
A word of advice for those people known as tree-huggers: Next time you enter a forest, and you hug a tree, it can be your last move, those suckers can kill you!
